Instead I will tell you everything feels harder here in Miami. Heavy, like morning fog that just won’t lift. Harder in subtle I-can’t-understand-what-you’re-saying ways. In I-can’t-go-anywhere-without-GPS ways. In why-is-parking-so-damn-expensive ways.
I try to focus on the good things, they are a’plenty after all. But my thoughts quickly drift to a wasteland of unknowns…
Where will we live at the end of this month?
What does our future look like?
Is our van going to die soon?
How are we going to afford Christmas presents?
Will we adopt again?
What color will our bedroom be?
What if William doesn’t like the same colors I do?
Suddenly I am sure of ZERO things.
Friends, I want you to know I’m scared. I want you to know it because I’ve vowed to be a truth-teller in this space, but I also want you to know it because there is power in our “me toos.”
Maybe you can relate?
I’m scared of having a mortgage.
I’m scared of the permanency of buying a house in an at-risk neighborhood.
I’m scared for my family’s safety.
I’m scared God won’t provide.
I’m scared God won’t provide the way I want him to.
I’m scared the kids in our neighborhood will negatively influence my young kids.
I’m scared my husband won’t like the colors I picked for our house.
I’m scared our neighborhood will gentrify.
I’m scared our friends will move to Ethiopia.
I’m scared the moms in our neighborhood will find me unrelatable because I have the privilege of homeschooling. And a hundred other privileges they don’t have…
Most “brave” things people point to in my past haven’t felt brave at all – most times I felt scared. I just did brave things scared.
I suppose there are some truly brave people out there, but I think most brave people are a lot like me… They just do the brave thing scared. And that’s ok.
Maybe your brave thing is flying across the ocean to bring a child into your family. Or maybe it’s walking across the room to embrace the one you’ve already been given.
Maybe your brave thing is moving across the ocean to love people who don’t look like you. Or maybe it’s walking across the street to love your neighbor.
Maybe your brave thing is being single beyond the age you expected to be. Or maybe it’s loving your lost husband.
Maybe your brave thing is showing up every. day. to the life God’s given you when it’s not the story you would’ve written.
Whatever your brave thing is today – I am standing with you – trusting the fog will lift for us all, to reveal a vast sisterhood choosing to #dothebravethingscared and pouring out our “me toos” on the altar of solidarity.
What is your brave thing? Let’s cheer each other on in the comments, remember there is power in our “me toos.”